Loaves and Fishes

I wasn't even supposed to preach today. It was Jack's week. I didn't mind, though, and since I'm doing a long series on the Old Testament, I didn't even have to come up with a subject - just go on to the next story. For a brief time I did consider preaching on a passage in Matthew that really impressed me during my worship, but finally decided to continue with the series.

This week's sermon was Child of Promise, about the birth of Isaac, the miracle boy. Of course it leads very naturally into a comparison with the birth of Jesus, also the Miracle Boy. It was a beautiful power point presentation, complete with Bible verses, applicable quotations, and tons of pictures to keep the kids interested. Hey, adults like pictures, too, but kids like them most. 

Since I wanted to be on time, I got ready a half hour early and dashed over to help with Grandpa so Tina could get done early enough. (She was giving me a ride to church, as I am short a vehicle just now.) Fortunately, most of the work was already done, so I stood there looking gorgeous in my new outfit from Tina, and held Grandpa's clothes in case anyone needed them. "Saul," Tina called me, snickering. (From Acts 7:58.) To save time, I called Tiggy and asked her to pack my computer and cord, so we would be ready.

The trip in to church didn't go very smoothly, either. Ultimately, we had to turn around almost there, and meet with Mom to disgorge two passengers. To spare anyone embarrassment, I will call them Mevon and Merafina. 

With not much time to spare, I began to assemble the electronics to hook up the power point. Computer? Check. Cord? Cord?

Cord?

Um, Tiggy, where did you put my cord? The stunned look on her face and involuntary 'o' of her mouth told me all I needed to know. Suddenly I felt like that kid with his nose pressed against the glass, and no way to get in and reach my precious sermon.

With a hasty contemplation, I realized there was no time to reconstruct my intended sermon. It was too much information, taken back and forth from several sources, and scattered over numerous chapters in the Bible. I just am not that good. What I needed was something simple. Something I could just stick to one place, go through bit by bit, and have ready in 15 minutes or less. Something very much like....that passage in Matthew.

Maybe I did pull a Jonah by not picking that in the first place. Maybe I ignored the quiet prompting of the Holy Spirit, asking me to share the lessons from the feeding of the 5,000. Whatever the case, God mercifully brought me back around and dropped me off at Ninevah, thanks to a missing power cord. 

The sermon went well, much better than I deserved. And yet, that's what the lesson was all about. Jesus could have created an opulent banquet, there in the middle of the desert. The people could have feasted on dainties and delicacies. Instead, Jesus turned to the people - asking what resources they had to offer.

It wasn't much, just one boy's lunch. Bread and fish, the usual dinner of the poor folk. But placed in the hands of Jesus, it became enough to feed 5,000 men plus women and children, with 12 baskets left over to share. 

That happened to me today. Left with the electronic equivalent of about a half a loaf and no fish, I was sunk. With my inadequate resources in the hands of the Master, they grew to fill the need.

And I have my next sermon done already...

Death on the Prairie

or

I Can't Feel My Arms Any More

It was Jack's bright idea, more or less. He saw an infomercial for an intensive fitness program, hot on the heels of his doctor telling him that he needed to get back into shape. She had a nice little chart in her office, ranging from Very Underweight to Grossly Obese. I am much too kind to tell you where exactly he fell within that scale. Suffice it to say that even I was surprised. (I am also much too discreet to tell you exactly where I fell within that scale. I'd rather tell you my age. It's 39. And a half.)

Being the wonderful wife I am, I ordered the program before he had the chance to, and it arrived at the end of last week. We were both very excited, and I even put the pull-up bar together so he wouldn't have to. Since the program has six days of hard work, and a seventh day of rest - sound familiar, anyone? - we started on Sunday.

Oy!

Dizzying rounds of push-ups and pull-ups followed each other in quick succession. Since Jack hadn't yet mounted the pull-up bar, we did air pull-ups. Even with that major advantage, we still keeled over just past the half-way mark. I was pretty sure I would never move my arms again. You can imagine my dismay when Jack noticed later that, not only did we quit early, but we entirely missed the Ab Ripper. Gaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!

Last night was leg exercises. Though nowhere near the level of the video, I enjoyed this one much more. After a whole summer of brisk biking, even going up steep hills in high gear to give my muscles an extra pounding. Jack has not been riding bicycles. He made it to 27 minutes before collapsing on the couch, swearing he would never walk again. I nearly had to carry him to bed.

(In case any of you are familiar with this well-known 90-day program, let me just assure you that I will be substituting other stretches in on the days they recommend yoga.)

Tonight is Shoulders and Arms, followed by...yep... the Ab Ripper. 

Maybe we will at least watch it this time.

Painfully yours,

Noni Beth

PS Even for someone of my customary gregariousness, it was too much of a stretch to post "before" pictures in a completely public place. Especially THOSE "before" shots. For those of you who are my friends on Facebook, you will find the "Before" album visible to friends only. Any of the rest of you who would like to see them can email me at you_neak@yahoo.com. 

Stay tuned for periodic updates on our progress. Do not hold your breath for video. There won't be any.

I Prefer to Remember Them the Way They Were...

They were so cute! So adorable! So HAPPY!

For those who have not seen The Rest of the Story, click below:

Bob

Larry

See if I trust Tina with any more of my vegetable friends!   >:(

In the Quiet, Misty Morning

In the quiet, misty morning,
When the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows hush their singing,
And the sky is clear and red,


When the summer's ceased its gleaming,
When the corn is past its prime,
When adventure's lost its meaning,
I'll be homeward bound in time.

A mother of three busy children has little time for solitude or reflection. You can imagine how delighted I was when my fond expectations were realized, and ~part~ of my school bus trips each day contained large helpings of both peace and quiet. 

The early morning rides were glorious! Leaving shortly after sunrise, driving dramatically through the misty morning, while the sky was clear and red.... simply gorgeous. Simply silent.

I leave town headed east, the sun shining on my face, a rainbow of clouds streaking the sky ahead and above. A set of hills - the nearest thing we have to a mountain - rises in my path. I climb it effortlessly, glancing enviously at the abandoned air force base at the crest. At one time, nearly 100 children came from the base to Westby School. Now, it lies abandoned and still, old buildings wearing the ravages of time. Except for the giant concrete tower, the edifice I most envy. How I would love my own concrete tower!

From the air force base, the road drops down the other side, curving past the turnoff to Skjermo Lake (pronounced SCYARE-mo), and winding narrowly between two lakes, brightly reflecting the colors of the sky. These lakes are fairly new, left over from the spring floods that never quite went away. Waterfowl throng the liquid paradise, large numbers swimming right up next to the road, then curving off in a flying fantasia just ahead of my approach.

Sheer magic.

After several mornings, Devon asked if he could ride along with me. I said yes, if he got up early. I expected that to be the end of it, but to my surprise he bounced out of bed, ready on time. My personal suspicion is he slept in his clothes to improve his efficiency, but the results were impressive.

As we pointed our enchanted yellow chariot into the rising sun, Devon began firing off comments and questions faster than an auctioneer in a hurry. The plethora of lexicon bubbled up, finally spilling out the windows and trailing behind the bus as we drove.

The next morning, he brought his baritone.

Oom-pah, Oom-pah-pah, Oom-pah, and ever time we went over a bump, OOOOGAH!!!

Oom-pah, OOOOOOGAH, Oom-pah, Oom-pah-pah, Oom-OOOOOOOGAH!!!!!!!! We went over a lot of bumps. 

I made him put the baritone away shortly before the first stop, and then the auction began again. One phrase stood out in the dizzying blur of sound. "Wow, Mom - it's so interesting to come with you in the morning. Now I know just what you go through!"

I smiled to myself. No, Devon, you don't quite know what I go through.

Oom-pah.

If you find it's me you're missing,
And you're hoping I'll return,
To your thoughts I'll soon be listening,
In the road I'll stop and turn,


Then the wind will set me racing,
As my journey nears its end,
And my path I'll be retracing,
Till I'm homeward bound again.


~ Marta Keen

Mr. Safety

If you know Jack, you also know that he is a stickler for safety. No matter where he is or what he's doing, safety is uppermost on his mind. All the children in the family, (and perhaps even some of the grownups), have gotten catchy little lessons (lectures) from Dad/Uncle Jack/Sweetheart/Mr. Safety.

So I was rather surprised to get a phone call from him today, while he was working at the church. "Um, Dear, I have some bad news for you."

Great. What did I do now? Casually, "Oh? What is it?"

Hesitation. "I need to go across the street."

Across the street is not generally a good thing when you are at the church. Across the street can either mean the public swimming pool, or the hospital. At the end of October, with temperatures below freezing every night, it's pretty safe to rule out the pool. 

Across the street is where Mom had to go 2 years ago when she got food poisoning while she was at the church. To completely acquit the church, the food poisoning had nothing to do with the location. Mom imported her own nearly-deadly bacteria. After some hours, when she was too weak to resist, we imported her nearly-dead carcass to....across the street.

It turns out that Sweetheart, aka Mr. Safety, had been cutting on the wall with his knife. Despite previous lectures he had given on the subject, he was not wearing work gloves. Despite previous lectures given by every father on the planet when handing their son a pocketknife, he cut toward himself. It went something like this.

Cut. Cut. Cut. Hmmm, I notice that I am cutting toward myself. Perhaps I had better cut away from....Aieeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

It was quite a gash. Thankfully, the slight slant to the angle kept it, barely, from hitting deep and important things like nerves and tendons. Nothing wrong with his clotting factor, either. By the time an hour was up and he got to see the doc, it was stuck so tightly that she couldn't open it even to check and make sure it was clean. Good thing he washed it while he had the chance!

A line of handy stickum, technical name of Dermabond, plus one band-aid, and he was back working on the church again, without even needing stitches. Oh, and a tetanus shot, cheerfully administered by the same nice lady that gave Devon most of his rabies vaccinations. 

Being the loving, loyal, and above all HELPFUL wife that I am, I made him a special sign. I'm sure he will want to display it prominently in his office.

ACCIDENT FREE

FOR

0

DAYS

He can thank me later.

Random Bear Goes to School

Who is Random Bear? If you don't know, click here.

Early one morning, Random Bear woke up and decided to go to school. Technically, he had been bearnapped, but still he wanted to get an education.

Random Bear rides the school bus for the first time ever!

On a fascinating side note, one of the ladies at the school shed a bit of light on Random Bear's possible past. She said that, when they were very small, her brother and sister each had a bear just like him. They had won them as prizes at the fair. One was colored just like Random Bear, and the other was a bright color. She had not thought of them in years, and felt very nostalgic to see their identical twin cousin.

He's a big boy now!

Random Bear goes to class.

Random Bear learns about anatomy, and...

Eats in the cafeteria.

Drinks do not go so well.

Random Bear is glad to be back "home" after a tiring day at school.

Keep a sharp eye out - there's no telling where he'll show up next.